Never again... 81.5kg

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In the past I have had these feelings after getting hammered the night before and then feeling the ill effects the following day.

This time round I'm saying Never again... to attending an AA meeting. There are so many reasons why, after only 3 meetings, I can honestly say this. It does not fit with anything I hold dear.

Here are just two things I think are important to behaviour change...

Personal Insights into the problem. It feels like insights into behaviour are frowned upon, although nobody has come right out and said this to me. If I understand the AA approach correctly one has to hand control over to a higher power rather than think for oneself. To me, getting insights is so important to making changes.

Feedback. So is getting feedback from people that are directly affected by my behaviour. I don't need feedback from other people with the problems, I need feedback from the people whose behaviour I affect. I need the positive feedback for the new behaviours I am showing in order to reinforce those behaviours.

I have got some useful insights:


  1. Group based 'therapy' is only as good as the group you are in and their ability to think and present coherently. Pretty challenging when you are in a room where at least half the people have had their minds damaged;
  2. No matter how bad my drinking got, there was a lot further I could have fallen. Those meetings served as a useful insight into this;
  3. It is the first drink that I need to be watchful for - I now have agreed with myself that when I find myself in that situation I will pick up the phone and call my wife, or another friend (I will not be calling any strangers);
  4. Staying sober is the most important thing to me at the moment - hopefully over time this will just diminish into the background and I won't even have to think about it as other things take priority.
So all in all, I am glad I attended with an open mind, it has left me feeling like I took one step forward and then took two steps back, I know I have tried it and can safely say "Never again". That was my step forwards.

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