Interesting behavioural insight - 82.9kg

I went into Manchester on Saturday night. Had a great time and was not tempted (by alcohol) once.

It was noticed that even though I was not drinking beer, I was still knocking the drinks back, it was mostly either pints of tonic water or soda water.

So this compulsion to drink quickly is possibly being driven by the desire for alcohol, but maybe more a habit formed with cold drinks in my hand regardless.

I must see if there is any other evidence of this and what it could lead to. I am not too worried about it given that my choice of drink at the moment is tonic water which is not too laden with sugar, but it is interesting none-the-less.

I plan to have two more meetings this week then take stock of where I am with that. I'm continuing to read the book and the stories in it, there is a pattern of messages in there which are helping.

Here are the ones I have taken to heart for the time being, which is helping me in other areas too. These are not necessarily all from AA, but they are the ones I have uppermost in my mind:

1. Not drinking alcohol is the single most important thing to me at the moment - much of the happiness I am currently enjoying is coming from the act of not drinking alcohol. It allows me to enjoy life at home and it means I can forgive myself for other shortcomings
2. I am not going to 'get better' - I have accepted that it is unlikely I will ever be able to drink responsibly. Other people who don't have this problem might tell me that 'it is all about moderation' but they do not realise that this gets to the fundamental problem for me. If I drink I don't want to drink in moderation. It is all or nothing for me.
3. I have a choice - I can drink and be miserable and make my family miserable OR I can stay sober, be happy and make my family happy. There is nothing that drinking can offer me, no long term release from guilt, shame or unhappiness. Not drinking means there is no beer fear, no hangovers and I can deal with all the complications of life with a clear head. I might still make bad decisions but at least I can then deal with the outcome better
4. The first drink is the one to be most watchful for - it is so easy to take that first drink almost without thinking about it, and from there I will slip back into old habits. Plan for this, think things through and spot dangerous situations. Pick up the phone instead of buying that drink
5. Take each day at a time - start the day with a commitment not to drink today, don't worry  about what has happened in the past, forgive myself and forget the bad and remember the good, start each day fresh and with a plan for the day
6. Enjoy life as it is now - make sure to be happy around my family as much as possible, support them and ensure they are getting the best of me when I am at home. They have had the worst of me when I drink so make up for that. Do the same at work and with my friends. 
7. Look to my family and friends for help - I will not succeed at this alone, tell them what I'm doing, ask them for help and support and get feedback from them on how it is positively affecting their lives. Getting feedback from them is really important to me, even if it feels like we are having the same conversation time and again. 
8. Don't get angry - accept what is and what is to come, don't try to change things that cannot be changed, only work on changing things that can be changed.
9. Take the opportunity to help others - by not drinking I am helping my close family. Remember what my wife said about our last holiday, remember what my son said about how proud he is of me, I want to be around for my kids when they are grown up and have their kids (but remember to take each day as it comes)